Time to Rest August 25, 2008

Here I am procrastinating again, but it’s what I do best!  For those that haven’t heard, my dad passed away a little over a week ago (August 17th to be exact).  That was actually 1 year (but not the same date) since my friend Dan’l died.  Last August 19th, on a Sunday, he was involved in a tragic motorcycle accident.  Talk about a rough week!  Actually in the past three years, I’ve lost both grandmothers, an adopted grandfather, a family friend, a best friend, a ray of sunshine, and my dad.  Right now, I just hope my dog doesn’t die soon!

Only by the grace of God is my head still above water.  Not only am I doing well – I’m doing wonderfully considering the circumstances.  I haven’t been able to sleep well though.  I attribute the lack of sleep to my never-ending to do list.  School started back for me and my instructor has been very gracious with my assignment due dates due to the loss of my dad, but I still have a couple large papers to write and absolutely no motivation to draw from.  Also, my dad left all of his financial affairs in my hands to take care of so I’m up to my eyeballs in bank accounts, phone services, life insurance policies, and the list goes on.  Just think of everything in your life that is in your name and someone else has to take care of all those things for you.  It’s a lot when you’re a 76 year old person!!  I am grateful that he left everything in order so it’s not a complete mess – quite unlike my house!  The boyfriend was staying with my dog while I was in Charleston with my dad for the past month.  He spent the entire morning cleaning the other day as I was driving home, so it’s not dirty – just messy!  I came in and dumped a ton of clothes, papers, shoes, suitcases, books, and groceries on the couches which were already covered with his clean laundry, suitcase, and marine duffel bag full of clothes. 

I’m just overwhelmed with things to do – as usual.  So my plan is to not go back to work just yet.  They’ve been more than gracious with me about my dad and I don’t need the money just yet for bills, so I think I’ll take a few more days off to get myself organized and everything under control again.  If I could only get just a couple things taken care of, the load wouldn’t seem so tremendous.  I’m trying to plan a memorial service in Richland, WA for Sunday – pretty much single handedly since my other siblings returned to work.  It’s easier for me anyway because I already know people out there from when I took care of my dad when he was living there.  I think after my papers and the travels & service this coming up weekend, I’ll be a lot better. 

What I really need is a good, long nap!  If only I could sleep . . .

I’m so happy!! March 26, 2008

That title made me think of that song, “I’m so happy, so very happy. I’ve got the love of Jesus in my he-a-art and I’m so happy, so very happy . . . “

but that’s not what I was originally thinking when I started to write. I often wish I had some kind of deep insights to share or new revelation to discuss, but I don’t. I only wanted to say how thrilled I am to be finished with the class I was in and in a new class. That last one was SO much work and it was like pulling teeth just to get the instructor to actually grade all my assignments. Every week, she took off points for missing assignments and I had to go back and show her that I did in fact do the work and that I turned it in on time. Sheesh.

So this class I’m in now is a research class and not quite as exciting as ethics, but at least it’s half the work load – THANK YOU JESUS!! It’s also the last 300 level class I have, then I start my 400 level classes. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, I will be in my senior year of my undergrad. Haha, it only took me 30 years to get here! So to celebrate, I’m going to take a break. I was planning on going year round, but I’m so burnt out. I’ll take a couple weeks (the boyfriend’s suggestion) because it’ll be like summer break and the rest of the college world is out of school, right? Actually, I need to give credit where credit is due – it was originally my mom’s idea for me to take some time off. I decided, ok – a week off will do me well. Then the boyfriend chimed in and said I should take more time off. I deserve it – especially since I’m finishing a whole level of courses. The only down side is that I seriously need to apply for some scholarships so I don’t have thousands of dollars to pay after I graduate. I hate school loans. It just won’t be much of a break if I’m spending the majority of my time completing applications and writing essays. Hmm.

I’m planning on taking at least one class over the summer though – I still want to be finished by next spring. However, there are not one, but two beach trips planned at the end of July/ beginning of August. My cousins go for a week to Edisto in SC and then my boyfriend’s family is renting a cabin on the beach near St. Augustine. I’ll also be spending a weekend in June in NYC. I’ve never been, so I’m excited! The first week in May, my family is coming down here to celebrate my 30th birthday!! (and my cousin’s 21st even though it’ll be a couple weeks after the fact). Busy, busy, busy. I don’t mind the part of being busy that I spend with my friends and family though.

So I had kind of put my thoughts about going to grad. school on the back burner, but especially after the Word on Sunday and then a comment my pastor said at dinner the other night, I know that I want to obtain my Master’s degree in Christian Counseling. Originally, my plan was to move back to the Charlotte area after completing my Bachelor’s and attend Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary. I’ve checked out numerous schools and they seem to have the best program for what I want to do. The online schools aren’t accredited and don’t cover as much materials. Other schools in the area offer counseling, but not specifically Christian Counseling. I had even requested information from Gordon Conwell and after reading the program, fell in love with it. The reason I’m kind of putting it on the back burner is the fact that I have no idea what may happen in the next year or so.

Time will tell ultimately and we’ll just have to wait and see what God has up His sleeve. For now, I know I’m in the will of God, doing what He’d have me to do. As much as I complain about it, there’s a grace to do it. I’ll let tomorrow worry about itself.

I just don’t wanna October 7, 2007

I’m back in school which I’m excited about.  I don’t hate it and it hasn’t been too difficult yet – just very time consuming.  Anyway, I keep telling myself I can get through this year working full time and doing school full time along with keeping up with my church activities.  I can do anything for just a year, right? 

 So tonight I’m just tired.  I have a paper due tomorrow.  It’s not difficult, just boring.  I’m ready to be done with the next year of my undergrad stuff so I can get to the counseling degree program that I’m SUPER excited about.  I can hardly wait.  Hopefully, this motivation, grace, and excitement will stay with me for the duration of my college education. 

Anyway, I’m not in the mood tonight to do this paper.  I just don’t wanna.