Where to start with this story? Basically, I’m grieving a bit and thought writing about it would be therapeutic. I have no idea what to do (other than pray of course) and find myself just sitting here wondering how I could be of help to my family. I guess I’ll start at the beginning . . .
My oldest brother has two daughters, the youngest is Nina. She’s 27. She had the most romantic whirlwind of a truly passionate love this past year. She met and married her prince. That was 6 months ago on New Year’s Eve – fun wedding huh? She also has a 9 yr old daughter from a previous relationship. That part of the wedding was sappy! The new hubby vowed to be the best dad he could to her daughter and promised to take care of them both. Boy, did I cry!! He is an amazing man and my whole family is blessed beyond belief that he and Nina found each other. Their love is nothing short of inspirational!
Five days ago, Nina was working out at the gym as is a frequent event for her – she’s SO beautiful! She had a headache at one point – that part, I’m fuzzy on. Anyway, she passed out at the gym. Of course, they called 911 and took her to the nearest hospital. From what doctors could figure, she would need more attention and wisdom than what they had. They air lifted her to the University hospital. She had a brain aneurism. My family approached the situation full of hope and faith in spite of worst case scenarios from the doctors. I would not recommend these docs if you plan on having an emergency. The first night Nina was there, they were talking to my family about organ donation. Her hubby couldn’t be there that night as he is a specialist in the army and stationed in Italy. The Red Cross flew him home, so he got there late Tuesday night and was met by a doctor telling him how Nina was going to be a vegetable and that he needed to make a decision, not her parents. His response: I kill people for a living, I won’t kill my wife.
Long story short after a million prayers, they declared Nina dead today, due to no brain activity. The good part of that is that her hubs never had to decide what to do. They left her on the vent so family members could say their good-byes. My heart aches for her husband and her little girl. Me – I’m at peace. I’ve experienced enough death and although this was somewhat sudden, I’ve had time to appreciate the fact that I don’t understand. A favorite quote of mine that I’ve used thousands of times, “God allows in His wisdom what He could prevent in His power” – Uncle Arthur Burt. Obviously God’s ways and thoughts are higher than ours and He sees the end from the beginning. We don’t.
In times past, I’ve often wondered how in the world to connect the Word of God and His promises to circumstances and things that happen that seem to contradict the Word . . . as if God can break a promise. The answer I’ve found – I don’t have a clue. My trust is that He is the Creator of the Universe and He is Sovereign. Shall not the Judge of the whole earth do right?? YES. HE WILL. He is mercy. He is love. He is truth. He cannot lie.
Grief is the strangest thing. So many emotions raging. Times of peace to times of anger to times of sadness. No matter what the emotion, the grace of God is sufficient to carry us through til the end. He gives us strength when we are weak. I take comfort in knowing where Nina is now because of her relationship with our Savior Jesus. I can just hear my dad now, “Well look who it is! What are you doing here so soon?” And I hear Nina, “Hey Grandpaw, I missed you! Wanna show me around?” She and her sister sang that song “when I get where I’m going” by Brad Paisley at my dad’s memorial service. Hope the words are true for her.
I could go on and on about Nina – although we were not nearly as close as I would’ve liked. Life just gets busy – but what an awesome reminder to take time for those you love. When those go on before us, we can truly be grateful for the trial of faith it takes to overcome grief and loss. The trial is more precious than gold and molds us and shapes us into the beautiful image of our God. What an opportunity. Nina – you will always be loved and missed. Give Dad a big bear hug for me!!!
When you quoted what your dad would say to Nina in heaven, I could hear his friendly southern drawl in my head. That is just the kind of thing he would say. I’m so thankful for the deep religious faith of our family. It is a strength and a common thread!
Sometimes I’ve imagined what it will be like to go to heaven myself. I usually imagine Grandma and your dad and Aunt Betty there giving big hugs and saying, “Ohhhhh! Gimme some sugar!” It will be so sweet to see my sister too!
Thank you for sharing your sweet words. I wish I would have known Nina. I didn’t even know she had a daughter. Who will care for her daughter now? I have a 9-year-old girl too. I can’t imagine being separated from her nor can I imagine how she would handle the grief. I’m sure that Heavenly Father will allow Nina to be an angel watching over her daughter.
I read a book called “The Message” by Lance Richardson about a his own journey into heaven in a near death experience. He actually went there three times during his ordeal. He learned and testified of the important roll that families play in heaven and that our loved ones who are there are very involved in our lives now. It is a great read and I highly recommend it. You can get it on Amazon.
Love,
Kim
I think it’s funny that you think my dad had a southern drawl. . . comparatively speaking, he had no drawl.
Nina was as country-girl as they come! Very thick southern accent, devoted country music fan, thinks trucks rock, you name it!! Nina’s daughter is Kara. While Nina pretty much had custody, the dad got her like every other weekend or something. I’m not sure how that will unfold now. Nina’s husband is completely devoted to Kara and loves her like his own. Thanks so much for the info. about the book – I’ll have to look into it!
Wow, that’s a year younger than me. How scary! What a reminder to live everyday to the fullest because our days aren’t promised. I hope that Kara’s biological father allows Nina’s husband to remain a constant part of her life. It makes me think of Chandler & what would happen if I were to pass. He & Jared are so close & Jared often says he has to intentionally make himself remember he is not Chandler’s biological father because to him, “that’s his son.” I just can’t imagine seperating the two. Anyway… I’m glad that you are at peace with this. You are always such an inspiration & so insightful. I will pray for you & your family. All my love.
Yes, Dana. When it comes to a southern drawl, it’s all relative. But your dad definitely had one. He lived there long enough for it to rub off on him. Your mom and you kids have more of an accent, but to my Californian ears, Uncle Chuck was a southerner! Love you!!!!!