I’m not one of those people that is super cheerful all the time. I don’t have many natural talents or abilities. Idon’t always look at myself for who I really am, rather I look at those around me and see what I’m not. The Bible says it is not wise to compare ourselves. I suppose it is a natural instinct because how else are we supposed to know how we measure up? Yet, that is not wisdom and is definitely not God’s best or highest for us.
I look at what I want to be and realize I am not the answer to many problems I’d like to solve for people. I am no one’s healer. I am no one’s savior. In my heart of hearts, I long to be that person though – something I’m not. There are several people in my life that struggle so badly to be who they are or who they want to be instead of the picture perfect person they are expected to be. I wish I could help, but I cannot.
It could be quite depressing to dwell on what I’m not and what I can’t do, so I’ve decided to shift gears and change focus. A few days ago, the Lord really met me in a dark deep pit I was in. The ironic thing is, I thought I was on my way up a mountain. We are never too far from the Grace of God. David wrote a Psalm about how even if I make my bed in Hell, He is there with me. There are just so many other things I would rather be than what Iam. Well, not that I would rather be that, but I would like to add those aspects to my current condition and character. I would love for everything I touch to turn to sunshine and I want to color this world with peace, joy, love, happiness, etc.
I am not a liar. Other than being completely honest with Jesus, I strive to be honest with myself and then others. I am not a murderer or a cheater or an adulterer. I am not a lot of things.
What I am is a child of God – His princess. I don’t have to be anything more than that. I don’t have to mark this world with a legacy of hope and change. I am HIS. I belong to HIM. He is my Master, Savior, Husband, Teacher, Deliverer, Restorer, Father, Protector, Provider. Instead of focusing on what I am not, I choose to focus on what HE is. When I see who He really is – I realize who and what I am. No, I am not all those things I wish I could be, I am much more. I am His Beloved. I am the apple of His eye.
So if no one else or even myself ever recognizes the few gifts and talents the Lord has bestowed upon me, I am confident in this - I am a child of God’s. I will not go without. He is every answer I need.
