Seriously. Why hormones? Why?
Today is one of the days where I woke up ready to conquer the world, which is wonderful since I start work today! I have no idea why I even bother with feeling overwhelmed at times. Jesus has always been faithful to provide a way for me, to have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my belly. Why do I doubt Him so much sometimes and take the weight of the world on my own shoulders?
When my dad died, at first I was okay. After a month at least, my faith was really tried and I felt disappointed by God. He let me down. That had never happened before in my life. He was always the ONE I could trust that wouldn’t disappoint me. After that, I felt completely alone and abandoned. I prayed and He didn’t answer – at least the way I thought He should. I stood on the promises in His Word and reminded Him, but it made no difference. He did what He wanted to do, regardless of those promises. Finally, I came to the conclusion that God is Sovereign and there are just some mysteries we will never know this side of Heaven. I wasn’t upset that my dad died. I get it by now, people die. I was upset that Jesus didn’t do the miracle I knew He could do. Maybe one day I’ll understand, but it’s taken me a while to trust Him again. I do recall telling my dad that Jesus would heal him, one way or another, here on earth or in Heaven. I believed that, but I believed it really would be here on earth, not the latter. Obviously, I was wrong, but at least my dad did get his healing.
So yesterday I flippantly threw a prayer in God’s direction, not really expecting much to come back my way. I was surprised. By the end of the day, I got a phone call that met more expectations than what I was even asking for. I needed work, but I’m so tired of looking. I was hoping something would just fall in my lap, but knew that was not likely. The phone call was where I used to work. They need me only for 20 hours a week (which is pretty much all the hours I have available to work) for four months (which is exactly the time frame I’ll need a job before graduating) and it’s incredible pay for a part time job (which will more than make up for wedding expenses). Go figure. Jesus is proving Himself to me once again.
It is such an incredible load off my shoulders to not have to worry about getting a job, starting a new job, and then not making enough money for bills. These are things I carry quietly, but I’m so excited they’re gone I just can’t help myself!
God is SOO good. I keep saying that, but it’s true. I was talking with the fiance’ a few days ago about other couples we know (not in a bad way). I just love how perfect our relationship is. Of course, there are a few speed bumps we run into here and there which is to be expected. I was just talking about things other couples do or say that I wouldn’t be able to deal with. I know other people have looked at us, and even said things to me, about how he should or shouldn’t do this or act like that or needs to change whatever. We all have things to work on, but I never could’ve imagined someone so suited for me. We’re not one of those couples that’s super sweet to each other all the time. We’re never mean to each other, but we enjoy a daily dose of sarcasm which we both find funny. Maybe other people don’t get that, but my personality and his go hand in hand. Only God could’ve done that. I’m sure others don’t understand a lot about our relationship, but it amazes me that he is the only person on this earth that knows EVERYTHING about me, no secrets or lies and still loves me. The same goes for him – he has told me every ugly secret in his past, but it makes no difference. Only Jesus offers this kind of agape’ unconditional love. That’s how I know it’s from Him.
So my point today is that I’m encouraged in my faith, in my daily life, in my relationships, in general. Jesus really is faithful – regardless of the voices whispering differently.
