Time to Rest August 25, 2008

Here I am procrastinating again, but it’s what I do best!  For those that haven’t heard, my dad passed away a little over a week ago (August 17th to be exact).  That was actually 1 year (but not the same date) since my friend Dan’l died.  Last August 19th, on a Sunday, he was involved in a tragic motorcycle accident.  Talk about a rough week!  Actually in the past three years, I’ve lost both grandmothers, an adopted grandfather, a family friend, a best friend, a ray of sunshine, and my dad.  Right now, I just hope my dog doesn’t die soon!

Only by the grace of God is my head still above water.  Not only am I doing well – I’m doing wonderfully considering the circumstances.  I haven’t been able to sleep well though.  I attribute the lack of sleep to my never-ending to do list.  School started back for me and my instructor has been very gracious with my assignment due dates due to the loss of my dad, but I still have a couple large papers to write and absolutely no motivation to draw from.  Also, my dad left all of his financial affairs in my hands to take care of so I’m up to my eyeballs in bank accounts, phone services, life insurance policies, and the list goes on.  Just think of everything in your life that is in your name and someone else has to take care of all those things for you.  It’s a lot when you’re a 76 year old person!!  I am grateful that he left everything in order so it’s not a complete mess – quite unlike my house!  The boyfriend was staying with my dog while I was in Charleston with my dad for the past month.  He spent the entire morning cleaning the other day as I was driving home, so it’s not dirty – just messy!  I came in and dumped a ton of clothes, papers, shoes, suitcases, books, and groceries on the couches which were already covered with his clean laundry, suitcase, and marine duffel bag full of clothes. 

I’m just overwhelmed with things to do – as usual.  So my plan is to not go back to work just yet.  They’ve been more than gracious with me about my dad and I don’t need the money just yet for bills, so I think I’ll take a few more days off to get myself organized and everything under control again.  If I could only get just a couple things taken care of, the load wouldn’t seem so tremendous.  I’m trying to plan a memorial service in Richland, WA for Sunday – pretty much single handedly since my other siblings returned to work.  It’s easier for me anyway because I already know people out there from when I took care of my dad when he was living there.  I think after my papers and the travels & service this coming up weekend, I’ll be a lot better. 

What I really need is a good, long nap!  If only I could sleep . . .

Highs and Lows August 7, 2008

At times in the valleys, there is no choice but to stand on the Word of God and His promises when you’re facing a mountain that reaches to the heights of the skies.  There is no other source of strength, no other encouragement, nothing that can motivate.  The reality of seeing something with your eyes and hearing negative or evil reports with your natural ears is a challenge to overcome.  If God said it – He’ll do it.

It is not often you are living in the reality of something but trusting in the supernatural to change that reality.  It’s hard.  Patience is essential.  Waiting on the Lord renews strength.  The trial of faith is more precious than gold.  When you’ve done all else, stand in the full armor of God.  Cast down imaginations.  Believe God for the impossible.  Impossible situations are nothing more than an opportunity for God to show His greatness and miracles.  He follows the anointing with signs and wonders.

Even in the valley, there are highs and lows.  Moments of overwhelming peace and comfort are treasured.  Moments of heaviness creep in if the guard dozes off for a second.  Weariness and feeling drained sets in.  Worship and the Word fill up the emptiness.  It’s a bit cyclical – all the time never failing to thank God for His goodness and Sovereignty in the midst of the storm.  He is I AM.  Blessed be the name of the Lord in all His ways and glory be to Him that sits on the throne of the earth for who He is and the heart He has for His people.