Many times, we see differences as an obstacle or something to overcome. I’ve learned to see differences as opportunities for growth, change, connection, and having the rough edges smoothed in the same manner as ‘iron sharpens iron’. For instance, I’ve always imagined that I’d end up marrying someone sort of better than me in a sense. I think I had made up this idea of an imaginary man that had the capacity to love me unconditionally with all my faults, yet have none himself. I’ve learned that realistically, everyone has faults.
Interesting thing about these faults though – sometimes they’re not faults at all – they’re just differences. Sometimes that’s a hard pill to swallow – realizing that just because someone is different doesn’t mean they’re wrong. No one is right all the time about everything. These so called faults or differences are in reality just a balance that help even out the whole spectrum of things.
Take the boyfriend for example – our strengths and weaknesses greatly compliment each other. I’ve always been a goody-goody and he has a sordid past. I love sweets, he loves salty stuff. He is extremely passionate about the Word of God and studying whereas I become complacent and lazy about it. I tend to have more compassion whereas he becomes impatient with people. I’ve always been a people person and love attention, he’s a loner and people drain him and he feels exhausted. When I want to, I can be quite eloquent with words and he talks in circles. I’m frugal with money and he wants to buy me the world. I can’t watch horror movies because I’m a wimp and those are his favorite. I love romantic comedies and those tend to upset his stomach. We both love movies though – especially blood and guts and gore. We both love to worship and be in the presence of God. We both love sushi and wings. We love to laugh together – and argue.
Here’s another example – my brother and I are night and day. He loves to crosstich, cook, and do gardening things. I love to mow the grass and play with the dog or creepy crawlies (which he hates). He’s swanky and into name brand clothing. I’m all about the Goodwill and a good consignment store. He loves fancy foods and getting dressed up. I love my pajamas and honey nut cheerios. He’s a fan of classical music and the arts. I’m a fan of country and baseball. He’s messy and I’m tidy. We couldn’t be more opposite.
The point is that the differences balance each other out. All of us together with these differences make up the image of God and His beauty. The way I see it is like a beautiful tapestry – each person with their own color is a single thread in this huge piece of art that Jesus is knitting together. Without one single attribute, the final product wouldn’t be complete. We should embrace these differences and learn from them instead of resist them and judge each other for them. I’m learning to enjoy the differences and see them as a gift rather than a test or annoyance I have to deal with. What a blessing to see something from the outside in!
